What is Bullying? Many people have the misconception that bullying is only physical, pushing someone smaller than them around or hitting someone just for a few laughs. But in reality there are many different forms of bullying. Persistent unwelcome behavior; using unnecessary or invalid criticism; constant nit-picking; fault-finding; being excluded from group activities; isolation; being singled-out and/or treated differently; being shouted at; humiliated; constant monitoring and the list just goes on.
Bullying is a form of abuse and bullies go to great lengths to keep their “targets” quiet just like many abusers. It is usually done with threats. The main concern of a bully is the thought of getting caught and the consequences they may be forced to face. This makes perfect sense because people bully hide their inadequacy are often incompetent.
A Bully is a person who 1. Has never learned to accept responsibilities for their actions 2. Denies responsibility for their actions and its consequences 3. The inability to recognize the affect of their actions towards their “target” 4. Refuses to change their ways 5. Unwilling to see that there IS a better way of behaving. Bullying is obsessive and compulsive and has to have someone to bully.
Despite what many people may think, bullies have low self-esteem, which in turn makes them feel insecure and causes them to lash out at others. Bullies are full of resentment, hatred, bitterness and anger, and often have wide ranging prejudices. Bullies from early childhood have learned that they can avoid the consequences of their bad behavior through response of denial, blame and playing the victim.
People, who are bullied find that they are constantly being criticized, forever subjected to nit-picking and fault-finding, and undermined especially in front of others. They feel overruled, ostracized, isolated and excluded, singled out and/or treated differently. Regularly being the target of offensive language or inappropriate bad language for example being cursed at, belittled and ridiculed. The bullied tend to set unreal goals, encouraged to feel guilty and to believe they’re the ones always at fault. It is because of these feelings that many of the people who are being bullied turn to drugs, alcohol, self mutilation or even worse suicide.
A person never knows another person’s last straw until that person has reached their limits. Growing up I was taught “Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words will never hurt me”. For some it may be true for others it is just a phrase with no significant meaning. For those “words” constantly being driven into them has diminished that person’s self worth. And unfortunately begin to believe everything that is being said or done to them. You tell a person enough times they are ugly, fat, dumb worthless, etc they eventually re-build their character based on those words.
Bullying needs to stop! As a mother of two, growing up in one of the roughest cities in America, New York City, I can not nor will I condone bullying. I dealt with my own bullies growing up and believe it or not still do. But I live my life by the saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I have become a stronger person because of it and I am here now to ask my viewers, followers and the passer bys to stand up and find a way to stop the abuse. Many things a person grows up doing stems from the home. So, tell your parents, children, brother(s), sister(s) everyone how much you love them. Ask them what’s going on in their lives. We are so wrapped up in our own lives, enthralled in our own problems that we tend to not hear the faintest cry for help…until its too late. We need to love each other more, be more accepting, and listen more instead of hating one another and focusing on the negative. If we could all work together starting in the home it would make a much bigger change in the world we are living in.
I dedicate this to everyone who has ever been bullied, to those who lost their lives due to bullying and to those who have felt they had no one else to turn to other than drugs and/or alcohol. But most importantly to a special young lady in my life. I love her more than I can express and she is not alone. She may have broken but I will be the glue to piece her back together.
I am Christina Buzz and I am against Bullying. Are you? What are you going to do to make a difference?
Before you Speak THINK!
T –is it True?
H- is it Helpful?
I – is it Inspiring?
N- is it Necessary?
K – is it Kind?
“Actions Speak Louder Than Words”